October 27, 2010

Guilty

That's me... I feel so guilty that in right at 2 weeks my baby boy will be turning 1 and I have nothing planned. Granted I am having him a first birthday party late while we are visiting family during the Thanksgiving holidays but I still feel very guilty about it. With all my other children I would have had this planned months ago. I feel like as a mom of 4 kids I am falling behind on the things I did with my older kids than I am not doing with the baby. I feel like I should be taking in every little thing and making lots of memories since he is my absolute last baby. I mean like I can not have anymore as my OB cut, tied and burned those suckers. Well, unless God decides to intercede and prove science wrong but if he does I sure hope and pray he decides to give me a lot more patience while he's at it. :)

Back to the guilt I feel. I tend to overdo things. No, really I do! I know babies DO NOT understand that their first birthday is here in fact they have no clue until around age 3 or 4 that their birthday is important and not just some other day. So in that sense I know it really should not be a big deal whether he has a big birthday bash or a small get together but to me it is. I don't want him to be going through pictures one day and notice that all of his sisters and brother had this huge party when they turned 1 and he had a cupcake on his highchair after dinner. I mean really I think about this at least half the day and I wake up at night and think about this as well and then cant go back to sleep over my guilt. 

Thing is with the move coming up quick and the decision we had in deciding where we were moving to it really surprised me. Not that I didn't know what month it was and when he was born was coming up fast but the time just flew by. So before I knew it here I am with 2 weeks until his 1st birthday and nothing. Not even any ideas. Maybe that is my sub conscience telling me that I am just going to pretend he is my baby forever. You know like in the book, "Love You Forever". I'll be the mom driving across town to climb into my grown son's house to rock him and tell him, 

"I'll like you for always
I'll love your forever
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be"



I know sad right? I really need to get on the ball. Have any of you moms with a bunch of kids ever done this? And if you haven't can you at least stretch the truth to make me feel better? Guess I'll start looking at first birthday ideas...

6 comments:

  1. I know just how you feel! I find myself in the same situation as well. I guess I look at it as we do what we can. Life will go on and where we feel like we might have not done enough in some areas we did spectacular in others. All that counts in the end is that our children know that they got 200% unconditional love and support. My kids don't always get a lot of "things" but they know mom and dad love them and are proud of them EVERYDAY! ((hugs)) to you!!

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  2. Following from Welcome Wednesday! Hope you'll visit me at www.giveawaysformom.com :)

    While you're there, I hope you'll enter my LOW ENTRY giveaways & add any giveaways you have to my DAILY giveaway linky!

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  3. Thanks for stopping by. I'm following you back!

    Don't feel guilty. You DO have it on your mind, it's not like you forgot!!! I think that with four kids you're subconscious KNOWS that you don't need months and months to plan, because you're super mom and you will come up with something in no time at all!!

    Holly
    www.hollyatnaptime.com

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  4. Hi! Thanks for the follow! I am now following you back :)

    I know exactly how you feel about the 1st Birthday party...I have twin girls that will turn 1 next month and I have NOTHING planned. I feel horrible, but I hate planning parties and I have no clue what to do. You are not alone! LOL

    Marisa
    http://thepennywisemama.blogspot.com

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  5. Ugh! I do this for EVERY single one of their birthdays! I always act like it's not coming up...keep brushing off the fact that they are about to be another year older and further away from being my baby....but then like the day before the birthday...mothers guilt sets in! I feel so horrible! So...then I'm rushing around trying to make everything perfect and OVER buying!

    So...I am guilty too! But I admitt, I never go over board too much. It's normally just a party for our family of 6 and I have my sisters over.

    Just get/make a good cake...that all that matters anyways. If they cake is cute and good looking...that is all the kids worry about anyways because they are standing their eyeballing the cake the whole day!

    P.S
    I LOVE that book! We own it too!

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  6. Heifer, you made me cry again, and keep in mind on catching up on your blog this is the first one I read. But, I did get to thinking, I did the same thing with Chris. For instance, you had the most pictures (and I'll comment that in a min)then Michael had his fair share, and poor Chris..... So thanks for the guilt trip! lol

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